Light bulbs
It’s the season of bulbs
Light is captivating. Even when I’m savoring the faint light of early morning, my eyes are drawn to the neighbor’s barn light, just like the moths of summer.
It’s the stars and planets that catch my attention in the night sky, not the spaces of deep blue-black between them. I love to watch the changes in colors and light as the sun comes over the hill, and as the day advances.
But there is a new phenomenon going on in my life regarding light. It’s the season of bulbs. Not just the daffodils blooming in the yard, but there’s a sudden proliferation of bulbs inside the house as well. My house mate, aka my life partner, has decided to replace all the light bulbs in the house with LEDs. They’re brighter and more economical in terms of energy use.
We are bumping into issues of aging. He’s a little older and I understand that he may feel the urge to see better in all the rooms of the house. Every time I turn on the new light over the kitchen sink, I smile. I love it! It’s the extra light I’ve always wanted in that location. In the past, we were limited in wattage at that fixture for heat safety reasons. But the bathroom is another matter. My partner’s aging eyes desire more light for shaving and reading. Mine, on the other hand, deeply desire to see beauty shining back at me from the mirror. A soft glow of light brings radiance from my face. What I see now, instead, is an expression of shock and alarm. How do I smile at that frightened deer, frozen in the glare of the room and mirror?
Is it time for me to “get used to it”, to accept my real appearance? Aging is life. Life is change and growth. Indeed, the alternative to growth is decay. But that’s another blog, and in the meantime you can read up on Dr. Henry Lodge.
One piece of my growth is in the direction of equanimity. Getting less upset over events that don’t need to be mountains instead of molehills. Yet another element of my growth has led me to attending to my needs and desires, not ignoring the wisdom and intuition that has come along with more years of experience. I need to make my home a place of refueling and calm, not a place where I cringe every time I turn on some of the lights. I realize my partner needs a home where he does not have to strain to to see well.
We will forge something that is neither “my way or your way”, a third and creative blend of our needs and comforts.
