Path of Vitality and Resilience

Being immersed in the on-going study of aging led me to gathering a fine set of
tools for life. As my understanding of the needs of the aging population grew
with study and experience, I began to understand also what actions or
remedies needed to take place. As I grew, Nia was right there with me. So
much of the tool chest of advice for aging well were included in The Nia
Technique philosophy and practice. Nia became a primary tool for
implementing lessons learned into my own life.
Two key challenges for the aging population are resilience and balance.
Professor Terry Eckmann, PhD, summarizes definitions of resilience: “The
ability to persevere and adapt when things go awry. To recover quickly from
stress, whether physical, mental, or emotional. It’s the ability to cope and
recover from crises, sustain a sense of purpose and vitality, and emerge
stronger from stressful experiences. It’s bouncing back and continuing to
strive for personal growth” (One Thought at a Time: Building resilience for a
long, full life. The Journal on Active Aging 2024)
I have discovered that, like balance, resilience is not something I attain and
just hold onto once I get it. I point out to my students that we are always in the
process of balance-ing; that it’s an active verb, whether it’s staying steady on
our feet, or juggling the various aspects of our lives. I’ve come to view
resilience that way as well.

Generally, I match the definitions given above. But although I’m a resilient
person, I know what it feels like to hit bottom and have no bounce left. This
past summer we moved and then left the new house full of boxes and
remodel-construction dust to escape to the coast, Shakespeare Festival, and
visit with family. When we returned, my heart sank when I walked in the door.
There were all the boxes and dust. It didn’t feel like coming home at all. And
the farm where we had lived for over 40 years was sold. I remember right there
in the parking lot of the hardware store, I sobbed, “I want my resilience back.”
I’d been baffled by crying at the tiniest frustrations all week and finally
identified what was wrong. So I pulled out my tool chest and I found relief in
my collection of self-care activities, in my joy of movement, in my fascination
with music, in my curiosity and creativity, in my connection to my sense of
purpose – all gifts provided me in my study of Nia. And then I got to work on
unpacking and cleaning.

Setbacks happen, sometimes health or an injury, sometimes emotional (is there really a difference?).  In my mind, I’ve come to label these challenges as “compassion-building experiences.” Here’s an example: last fall, when I’d been delighted to be getting steadily stronger, I slipped on a stair and badly scraped my arm and wrenched my back. At first, I felt very discouraged that I couldn’t continue my fitness trajectory. And then I understood how some of my students feel when they say, “Something always happens, just when I start to get better. I don’t know why I bother.” Ah! a chance to experience that report from the inside. And then, a chance to research how I create a different script. Holding on to my vision and expectation to get well, I also learned patience. I applied the Nia philosophy to focus on what I can do rather than what I cannot. Nia has also helped me develop my ability to stay on-track with a focus.

“In time and space, if you just look for what’s right—in others, in relationships, in yourself, and in your journey—you’ll always find it. Same when looking for what’s wrong.”   – Mike Dooley

Next step: applying the can-do philosophy to social action. What can I do that is effective and feels in alignment for me?  My Nia students and friends are often distraught by events in the world right now. One response is to seal off the emotions to get on with a busy life. Other times, a story cuts right through my thickened skin and I identify with a person in a circumstance. I feel sad. And then, overwhelmed by the quantity of stories, I feel hopeless, I feel despair.

And then I move. I take a walk. Or I dance. Or even pull weeds in the garden. Something about the physical activity helps remove the toxicity of negative emotions. Yes, reports Professor Eckmann, there are real chemicals, such as cortisol and adrenaline, at work inside the body that are released in response to stress, even just negative thinking. Debbie Rosas, Nia Founder, says, “Through movement we find health.” In the context I’m thinking about right now, movement is even more than getting my body to move in order to improve circulation and maintain immunity that comes with a healthy lymph system. Health involves transitioning beyond feeling stuck and hopeless. Movement is taking action in some way towards the way you wish your life and the world to be. The antidote to despair is action.

 Positive thoughts release chemicals, such as dopamine, serotonin, and brain-derived neurotropic factor (BDNF) that improve mood and health. David Snowdon, PhD, who wrote Aging with Grace: What the Nun Study Teaches Us About Leading Longer, Healthier, and More Meaningful Lives, noticed that the nuns who journaled about positive emotions and described life and events with a positive attitude, lived longer, with fewer signs of dementia and better cognition.

Taking a walk when faced with a barrage of upsetting news has an element of common sense. I also attribute much of my resilience to years of collecting tools from the Nia Technique. I have acquired a calm center I can return to. In a training session, I may guide students to walk around the room and sense moving from a calm center. Any concept practiced in class, then becomes available to use out in the world. I discovered personal power without aggression by studying the martial arts component of Nia, and then I became more effective in business meetings.

There’s always a personal exploration, an inner adventure, going on for me. A few years ago, I started to visualize my life as an 80-year-old: vibrant, healthy, strong, engaged in meaningful projects, enjoying life. It wasn’t far-fetched. My life is pretty near to that now, so maybe I could just keep going. But I also noticed some discrepancies, there were some elements I would need to start working on right away if I were going to live into my dream in just a few years from now.

The process, or path, towards that vision has improved my current life. Starting to do, and be, what I wanted to be, helped me feel more at peace with my current self. I wasn’t so focused on what was lacking or wrong, I became focused on how life feels now. Huh! No surprise. I’m living the Nia practice of paying attention to how I feel, my sensations, so I can make little adjustments to continue feeling good, or even better. Using sensation, I can discern when I feel calm and safe, or when my body responds with adrenaline to rushing in traffic, where I’m on high alert for danger. That’s protective and good, but for long-term lifestyle, my body needs a break from the rush of cortisol.

You’ve heard and read it before – here’s what’s new: learning to be a sensation scientist provides a way to sense when the body chemistry is not sustainable, to feel the difference between the road to burnout and the road to glowing health. The 21^st century asks us to embrace new types of literacy, with ever-changing tech devices, for instance, and one of the new literacies is body literacy. It means sensing and “listening” to your body’s messages and acting on the requests from the body. Making a small change now can stave off major pain or injury later. Attending to sensations and choosing what feels better, takes care of immediate needs, while it also invites me to evaluate what enhances long-term vitality and the greater good.

Dr. Eckmann states, “Kindness starts at home, in a person’s mind. Individuals with higher self-compassion display greater psychological well-being even when they have high stress and poor health,” according to research by J. L. Smith (Self-compassion  and resilience in senior living residents. Seniors Housing and Care Journal, 2015). The funny thing about noticing my sensations and choosing to expand the pleasant ones, is that it’s not only a self-care action for my body. Once I get in the habit of seeking what feels good, I find ways to change dynamics at home or the workplace. Plus, making choices gives me a sense of control over my own circumstances. Move aside, helpless feelings!

Many people in my age cohort have a desire to make the world a better place. Sometimes it gets submerged beneath expediency and coping with day-to-day circumstances. What if, how you respond to each moment, each mundane challenge can be a choice to sense the flow of well-being and connection? The mindfulness I practice in Nia class is preparation for taking it out into the rest of my life. I need it for life, survival, health, and vitality.

My journey to becoming an Elder “with a capital E” continues. I strive to travel through life as a seasoned person with curiosity that invites growth. I’ve been teased for my rainbows and unicorns, rose-colored glasses outlook, but what’s really at work in my life is curiosity about whatever is going on.

Now, I reach out to you to join me in Nia class or the Art of Sensation Training. I’ll open up my kitchen drawer and share all of my fabulous tools.